Anyone in a relationship knows that there are things that will cause stress on a good day. I find that sometimes those little things pile up and almost seem to be a lead weight on your good mood. I have been so busy lately trying to sort out how to get through all of these little issues that I haven't had any time to sit down and write this blog. I've honestly missed it! I have always prided myself on making the best of crappy situations and these last 2 weeks I have noticed that my positive outlook took a nosedive.
I had a big birthday and it threw me for a loop. I get so wrapped up in the day to day that my birthday creeps up on me and knocks me off track. This year it was a little worse than normal being that I started a new decade. I have nothing to complain about, it just means that I'm not as young as I was. I'm coming to grips with it.
We have also had visitors to our new home that seemed to have high expectations for the way we are "supposed" to be doing things. I wish that I could scream from the rooftop that my husband has PTSD and sometimes he has bad days, but that is no reflection on who he is. He isn't being grumpy on purpose. Sometimes things just bother him more than they would bother other people and answering for those mood swings only makes it worse. This disorder is difficult and my husband does his best to work through things without snapping but sometimes that doesn't work out. This is something that we deal with every single day as a family, and it simply is what it is.
I find that sometimes having guests reminds him too much of being overseas and being watched every moment of every day just in case he's doing something that he shouldn't, or not doing something that he should be. I know it seems silly to compare a house guest to an overseas deployment but it seems that in some ways, one is reminiscent of the other. It takes over a week for him to come back down to his normal level of calm after a visit. Now don't get me wrong, it's not that he doesn't want any visitors, he does, it just takes him outside of his full comfort zone. When someone comes to visit it's a bit of an awakening for them to see how we live our lives, and sometimes that awakening is a rude one.
Our family isn't perfect, never has been, never will be, but we don't expect it to be. We live our lives with a daily goal of keeping a smile in our hearts. We generally succeed more than we fail and that in itself is enough.
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